Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
If anybody ever wondered what it would look like to see Gandalf having sex with Jabba the Hut, you are in luck. Apparently Madonna and Britney Spears decided that if you combine an aged steroid activist with a blue whale you can kick start the apocalypse. How quaint. Anyways, the sexual black hole (otherwise known as a concert) will take place for a few Circus tour dates this summer and in addition to her extra Sticky & Sweet concerts, the material girl may even be adding the Glastonbury festival to the lineup as well. My Grand Pappy Winston used to call this kind of carnage a shit show with biscuit wheels. Words were never more appropriately uttered.

Comment (0)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy are vacationing on the island of Mauritius. That just sounds totally made up by the way. More importantly, if you’re dating a prince, your a gold digger, period. Even if you are a great girl who jokes with the boys and drinks and farts, your still a digger if your dating a prince. It can’t be helped.
Tell me Chelsy doesn’t look in the mirror once a week and whisper, ‘Presenting to the court, Princess Chelsy.’
She does, trust me, she does.

Comment (1)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ahhh 2008…lets recap the year shall we.
Britney lost her mind, found Jesus or something–saved; A-Rod banged Madonna, but not really, whatever; some babies popped out–to be expected; there was an election I think; Heath Ledger dies becomes immortalized as the new joker=5th Beatle; economy has post masturbation slump; and yet another year of booze, boils and bullets were at the forefront of my wasted life. So yeah, I’d say we’re right on par. Happy New Years Eve, bitches. Don’t call. Don’t text. We were never that good of friends.

And I don’t give a shit about punctuation or run-ons so don’t bother with your worthless guilt trips. Your malcontent only inspires me.

Comment (0)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Ok, Bristol Palin didn’t give birth during the Republican National Convention. The bastard birth happened over the weekend and they named the baby Tripp. Bristol released this statement early this afternoon,

My baby eats and poops. Thank you.

No, Bristol, thank you. I’m enclosing a Miley Cyrus gallery because nobody wants to see photos of a pregnant teenager.

Comment (1)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
It is seldom that I post a topless chick on this site for all the wrong reasons. Enter wrong reason exhibit A–Lily Allen. I still can’t figure out why she’s famous but I think she was in a Noxema commercial or something, I don’t know you tell me. Either or, when a mug like Lily’s strolls up to you in your car and asks for a ride you waste no time in backing up and then ramming her at full speed. At which time you may then take her home and stuff her on your wall as a reminder of the day you slayed that topless beast. Watch out Lochness monster, this year you might finally have some competition at the ugly convention.

Comment (1)