Derober

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John:
Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy had some fun with the paparazzi this weekend in Malibu. Jim proves once and for all that, besides the taint, the upper thigh is the most unattractive part of a man’s body. In related news, I would wreck McCarthy. And by wreck I mean have a short burst of ’sex’ for 30 seconds before prematurely ejaculating and crying myself to sleep (I always do that).

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Happy Fourth of July from all of us at Derober.

For more sexy women sporting the American Flag.

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John:
There are some who say there is nothing more American than apple pie. Well apple pie, check your rear-view mirror because there’s a Fox in your blind spot. For those of you who haven’t heard the news that Megan Fox is single (we’ll call you cave-dwellers), then put your game face on this weekend in case you…you have no shot at her, forget it.

To celebrate the 4th, our friends at Asylum have compiled a list of American bikini’s. Enjoy!

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
When Lindsay Lohan says she’s throwing a birthday party even Jesus takes notice. I don’t know what Lohan’s list of demands were for her birthday but I can only imagine they went something like this:

Item 1: 2, 000 dildos
Item 2: Rocket Launcher and real functioning Iron Man suit
Item 3: Enough cocaine to suffocate a blue whale
Item 4: Confetti
Item 5: Truck load of KY Jelly
Item 6: A goat (if no goat available then a tiger and several hundred hamsters)

But that’s all just speculation at this point. Anyways…yaaah Lindsay, Happy Birthday. One more year gone by that people didn’t know about your love of animals…literally.

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Darby Gunpowder:
We’re not sure why Megan Fox has decided to call off her marriage to Brian Austin Green. Weird. The Derobers stopped brain washing celebrities after we told Anna Nicole Smith to “Have another one Anna, what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.” Lesson well learned there.
If anyone has any information as to why this dream couple split please let us know.
This just in: Megan Fox called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green because he is Brain Austin Green.

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Genious…

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